Full of grace
by SmTwilight
Summary: Mamoru finds himself alone again for the coming holidays...but is he as alone as he thinks? One parter


Disclaimer: Sailormoon does not belong to me...

Another song inspired story. I couldn't think of a good name so I just named it after the song by Sarah McLachlan. Forgive my spelling/punctuation errors!! I tried my best to catch them all. Also, I tend to make Usagi a little more mature and Mamoru less of a jerk! Enjoy and please please review!!

**Full of Grace**  
By: Twilight

_The winter here's cold, and bitter_

_It's chilled us to the bone…_

He stood on the pier looking out. Autumn was finally here and the leaves were slowly changing colors. Soon, everything would be hibernating and the once beautiful, lush park would become a dead, desolate landscape...until Spring.

Suddenly a gust of wind blew out of no where surrounding his body with a whirlwind of leaves. There was a definite chill in the air now. Bringing his jacket closer to his body he turned to make his way home. With the upcoming holidays Mamoru couldn't help but feel a little down.

Normally he enjoyed this time of the year. The air felt cleaner and crisp to breath. The stars sparkled with more worth in the night sky. But….it was also a time for families to get together and share in the festivities. A time to sit down with their loved ones and enjoy a Thanksgiving dinner. To catch up on past experiences and plan for the future.

_We haven't seen the sun for weeks_

_To long too far from home…_

It was a time he was not familiar with. He never joined in any of the celebrations feeling he was out of place. So, he usually became more of a recluse only coming out when necessary. For some reason though, this year, it was effecting him more than usual. With a sigh he began walking again when he suddenly caught a whiff of perfume and his body tingled. Stopping abruptly he turned just as someone bumped into him.

"Odango…" Mamoru said raising an eye brow "What are you doing?"

"Oh!" She giggled nervously. '_drat' _She could never sneak up on this man. "Nothing out of the usual!"

Another chill came thru the air making him tug on his coat again when he noticed that the girl in front of him didn't have one on. '_She must be freezing!' _he thought as he looked over her attire. Fitted pink turtle neck which showed off her chest rather nicely and he had the graciousness to blush at that train of thought…a short black skirt with matching knee length boots. _'Wow, she looks nice'_

"Where is your jacket Usagi!" Mamoru reprimanded removing his coat.

"I left it at Rayes and by the time I noticed I was half way home" She gave another flighty giggle and dismissed the offer of his coat. "I'll be fine. I'm almost home anyways!" Turning on her heel she waved good bye and left.

_I feel just like I'm sinking_

_And I claw for solid ground…_

Letting out an exasperated sigh he quickly put on his jacket and continued home. A smile etched on his lips. Usagi always found her way to him just when he was feeling low. It was like she could sense when he needed her. His spirits lifted when he thought back to earlier this week…..

Removing his glasses he tiredly rubbed his eyes needing to rest them a moment. His head pounded and his body ached terribly. Relaxing a bit more in the booth he leaned his head back against the cusioned seat. After another moment, he groaned a bit before grabbing his books and walking out of the café for the library. _'There's just too much studying to do'._

_I'm pulled down by the undertow_

_I never thought I could feel so low…_

Usagi watched Mamoru intently from her stool. She could see how tired and fatigued he was. His usually bright eyes now held dark circles under them and his steps looked slugish and faint. He looked like he could fall over any minute! _'Does the man not care about his health at all' _Usagi wondered, concerned for his well being.

"Andrew! Can I grab some chicken noodle soup and tea to go please?" She asked impulsively.

Quietly she walked thru the large glass doors of the library, clutching her bag protectivly to her chest. Casually she walked around looking for Mamoru, turning her head from left to right. She had a feeling he would be here somewhere…but where? _'If I were Mamoru, where would I hide?' _Usagi silently pondered. _'of course!' _With hasty steps she went to the far end of the library to a remote corner and was happy to discover him leaning back lazily in an oversized chair. _'Where else but away from other people...'_

_Oh darkness I feel like letting go_

_If all of the strength and all of the courage…_

Wordlessly she sat beside him as he intently stared at the book before him. His eyes had some what glazed over. Giving him a sympathetic smile she easily snatched the book from his pale hands making him jump slightly. With a gasp he turned shocked eyes towards her.

"Odango? What are you doing here?"

Gingerly, she removed the contents from her bag and placed them on the table, in front of a dazed Mamoru. Hot chicken soup, warm tea, Tylenol, cough medicine and a bottle of water. Twisting the cap to the Tylenol bottle she took out two pills, lifted his chilled palm and placed them in his hand.

_Come and lift me from this place…_

"Here, take these and finish your soup, drink the cough syrup and lots of water." She instructed in an authorative tone. All the while, he was unable to say or think anything coherent as she mothered him. His mouth opening and closing like a fish.

_I know I could love you much better than this…_

"Mamoru," Usagi said, raising a delicate hand and softly placing it upon his flushed check. Lightly she began to caress him with her thumb in a soothing motion and her eyes glowed with warmth. Unconsciously and almost unwilling he closed his weary eyes and leaned into her touch. '_The fever must be getting to me' _he thought unable to explain his behavior and the feelings she stirred in him.

"You need to take care of yourself. I can't have my sparring partner not as his best." Gently she ran her fingers thru his silky hair. "I need to go but promise me you'll get some rest." Worry obvious in her voice.

Opening his eyes, he looked at the beautiful girl before him and slowly nodded. Smiling brightly, she removed her hand and he found he was sad at the sudden loss of warmth and comfort she brought. Closing her bag, she slipped it over her shoulder and stood turning to give him one last look over before finally leaving. Not caring if he was being blatant or not, he turned in his chair to watch her until she was no longer visible. Who would have thought that Usagi, of all people would be the one to make sure he took care of himself.

_So it's better this way, I said_

_Having seen this place before…_

Casually he continued his walk pausing occasionally to admire the colorful leaves as the trees were preparing to sleep. Soon, everything would be covered in snow and the city would be lit with Christmas lights. Taking a seat at a near by bench he remembered an encounter with a girl he had here awhile back. It wasn't a pleasant experience. Sure, he had his fill of admirers but some didn't take well to rejection….

He was taking his morning jog around the park when he was accosted by a woman. Someone he recognized from his school. Someone who he had to repeatedly tell 'he wasn't interested' in. Hiding his surprise and annoyance, he started to greet her when she suddenly lashed out and slapped him across the face.

_Where everything we've said and did_

_Hurts us all the more…_

Catching her second attempt easily he glared at the brunette before him. With a cry she struggled to free her arm from his grasp and gasped when he roughly shoved her away. Almost knocking her to the ground.

"What the hell is wrong with you!" Mamoru exclaimed, staring at her with cold, unfeeling eyes.

"My problem?! MY problem?" She cried, close to hysteria. "Why won't you be with me? I love you!! I could make you happy! We'd be good together!" The young girl cried, finally looking into his dark fathomless eyes and shivering at how lifeless they were.

"I told you already. I'm not interested in you. Why won't you get that thru your thick skull?!" Angrily he turned to try and continue his jog but she once again grabbed his arm.

"Why do you have to be so cold all the time? Why do you always push people away?" Slowly she walked closer to him, almost making him step back. "Don't you even feel the least bit bad about what you're doing to me? Do you even have a heart?!"

Opening his mouth to retort and tell her exactly what he thought of her he was stopped when a soft, warm body slammed into his. Without thinking and mostly out of reflex he reached out to steady the petite blonde girl.

"Odango..." Mamoru admonished with an exasperated sigh

_It's just that that we stayed, too long_

_In the same old sickly skin…_

Ignoring the name she smiled beautifully at him. "Oh Mamoru, thank you! You're always so nice to not let me fall." Usagi cooed, confusing the hell out of him before he caught her slight wink. Then, he was curious what she was up to.

"Oh hello," Usagi said, turning to the teary eyed brunette. "Do you know Mamoru? He's one of the nicest, sweetest guys I know! He's always cheering up children when they're crying. He's always been polite when someone asks for help and gladly stops what he's doing to help them. He even offers to help me with my homework though we're constantly at each others throat." She gave a contagious giggle "Oh and he's always helping out the gardeners here with the rose gardens! You can tell how much he loves them with how beautiful they are in the sprimmmm" A large, warm hand was suddenly placed over her mouth while the other worked it's way around her shoulders, slowly pulling her backwards.

"Odango!! Time to go!" Mamoru exclaimed easily lifting her into his arms and running away, leaving a confused brunette in their dust.

_I'm pulled down by the undertow_

_I never thought I could feel so low…_

Moodily she crossed her arms feigning anger at being silenced but they both knew she wasn't really upset. He must have figured out she overheard their conversation, otherwise he wouldn't have stopped her. After another moment she felt him slow his pace and gently ease her to the ground.

"What were you thinking back there Usagi? What was the point of that?" Mamoru asked turning slightly away from her to pace.

"You know why."

"No, I don't" he replied back in a flat voice.

_Oh darkness, I feel like letting go_

"Because," She responded stepping in front of him, forcing him stop in his tracks. "Because I saw the way her words were hurting you. Even though you were trying to hide it. And I didn't want you to believe for one second anything coming out of her mouth." Unable to resist any longer, he looked down into her crystal eyes. "So I just wanted to remind you that even though she doesn't see it...I do."

_I know I could love you much better than this…_

He thought he was drowning. To see such trust and faith shining in her eyes...for him. It was incredibly humbling. Is this what it felt like to know that there was someone out there who believed in you? To believe that he had such goodness in him?

"Thank you" Mamoru managed whispered. She had know idea just how she had saved him from falling back into that black void. _'Or had _

_she?'_ he pondered. Usagi was turning out to be full of surprises.

With one last smile she took off to finish her jog.

_Full of Grace_

_My love_

Unlocking the door to his apartment he hesitated a moment before finally walking in. Maybe he wasn't as alone as he thought. Maybe, next year wouldn't be so bad. Especially since a certain someone had made their entrance. Laughing to himself he felt his mood change. '_Yes, next year would be better'_…because he planned to have Usagi in his life permanently.

The End!!

Please let me know what you think!! Reviews make the world go round ;)


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